Waking Up, Deep-Down

Guest post by Merrianne Monson

After sensing that my bishop was “waking up” to some deep-down
struggles many women were having with recognizing and realizing their
own worth, and seeing him attempt to fix it by telling all of us that
we are wonderful,  I felt inspired to share my thoughts with him.  I
share it in part:

“There have been literally hundreds of talks from priesthood leaders
over the years telling women how great they are and that they are not
second-best.  For a long time, I always responded to these messages
with a question —- Why do they keep feeling the need to tell us  we’re
great?  What underlying issues are creating these feelings in women &
why aren’t they getting fixed?

There are many powerful forces throughout the history of the world  that
have repeated and accentuated the lie that women are second-best,
second-place, subpar.  The “pearl” of the doctrine of Christ teaches
that we, as women, are not second in any way and are on equal footing
with all of God’s children and have equal access to His love,  influence
and power.  I have come to know and fully embrace this “pearl” and it
has made ALL the difference for me.  This piece of truth about who  I am
lies at the heart of every single step I’ve taken toward healing,
growth, peace and spiritual abundance.

Though the truth about women is firmly embedded in the doctrine of
Christ, there are pieces of the church that give the message that we
are, at least in some ways, still in second place.  I speak from my  own
experience when I say that for a woman to overcome these often
unconsciously internalized messages to find the “pearl” of her true
worth and value and power in God’s eyes, she has to dig deep within
herself.  The spiritual knowledge of who she really is can only be
found within her own soul, and within the context of her own personal
and intimate relationship with God.  Yes, validation from those  around
her can help her along that path, but understanding and connecting to
her own God-given potential and power for good is something she
absolutely must do for herself.

I feel a great shift among the women of the church – a shift toward  the
discovery, realization and acceptance of our own worth and power, a
worth and power that all of God’s children share as his offspring,  but
something that women are finally ready to more fully embrace.  Women
are finally beginning to get, deep in their gut, that their worth and
potential is not tied to the many roles they play or don’t play  (wife,
mother, etc), but is simply tied to who they are as a child of  heavenly
parents.  I see many priesthood leaders (including yourself) who are
beginning to sense the tremendous pain caused by women not
understanding or embracing their inherent worth and power for  good.  I
appreciate your (and others’) sensitivity to the spirit and desire to
help women find help and healing.  That healing will come as  priesthood
leaders become more sensitive to and more validating of the needs and
unique gifts women have to offer but, more importantly, that healing
will come as women discover the truth about who they really are for
themselves.  It will come as they rise up and choose that healing for
themselves and for all the women around them. As I have seen in my  own
life, this healing blesses each woman, her family, and eventually all
those within her circle of influence. Nothing can match the power  that
is unleashed when a child of God finds out who they really are.

I pray you will receive these thoughts in the spirit they were given.
I hope something I’ve shared will help you understand, a little more,
how to best help the amazing women in our ward find their own  greatness
and live up to it.”

He thanked me for the email, and said it was very helpful to him.  I
absolutely know that experiences like this, of choosing to speak up  and
speak authentically, are what will create healing change.