Dear Ask a Feminist,
Part of the reason I stopped going to church was that I felt like I had to bite my tongue every time a sensitive topic (political, race, gender, or homosexuality) came up. What most members would say just felt so wrong to me, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt like I was being criticized, labeled and judged if I even attempted to think outside the box. Family and ward members try to talk to me about it now but they don’t really care about my concerns, just that I return to the church and think like everyone else. I appreciate this forum but I just don’t really have any hope that anything will ever change. I don’t really have a good question besides what is the point? Most mainstream Mormons are never going to “get it.”
Sincerely,
Left
Dear Left,
First of all, I’m so sorry you had such a negative experience with the church. We at LDS WAVE want to acknowledge how difficult it can be sometimes to make your voice heard in a homogenous ideology and we seek to support all of our sisters who feel like they are alone. Our desire is that by creating this online action-based forum we will give more women hope that things can change and provide them with links, articles, stories, answers and contacts that will support them along the way.
The most troubling thing to me about your question was that you heard things you disagreed with and felt like you “couldn’t do anything about it.” There have been times in my life where I have also felt silenced by the majority. Often, these prevailing attitudes and sentiments are not doctrinal, scriptural, or canonized. Many polarizing topics are culturally, historically, and/or politically relative. The gospel is made up of many people from many backgrounds and each of them has every right to be at church and to participate fully in the lessons and activities.
A friend of mine taught me how to feel confident in my voice even if it was different than the people around me. She strengthened and encouraged me by telling me her story. She was from a part-member family and from a minority political group. When she heard politically-charged statements at church it often made her feel like her ideas were wrong or less valid. Her status as a “part-member” family contributed to her feeling like “half a Mormon” and like she wasn’t supposed to rock the boat by offering a dissident opinion. There came a time when she was sitting in the back of the classroom fuming over the latest foray into politics and wondered if she should just leave when it occurred to her that “I had prayed to know if this church was true. I had received my answer. I had every right to be there. I had every right to stay and to enjoy and to offer my opinion every bit as much as everyone else offering theirs.” She taught me that if only one voice is spoken, only one voice will be heard.
I hope that we can provide a place for you to feel like your voice is valued. Please share your story with us by sending your own HOPE blog entry to hopeideas@ldswave.org
Sincerely,
Ask a Feminist
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