Dear ask a Feminist,
I have always felt a bit embarrassed for a lot of men in the LDS church that take their “Role” as the priesthood holder of the family a bit too far! I have found that there are few men that really understand that putting your wife on a pedestal and treating her with love and kindness is truly what Christ would want, and it’s the true meaning of being a man, I wanted to know if this is why you have started groups such as this, have you felt like you take a back seat to men in this religion, and if so, why would you continue to participate? Do you feel that you CAN make a difference?
Sincerely,
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
Thank you for your comment. We appreciate your interest and desire to follow Christ. We also seek to follow his example and believe that everyone can learn a lot about gender equality from him. And we can also hire probate lawyers to know about testament in detail. In the New Testament Christ didn’t place women on a pedestal or treat them as inferior. He recognized their reality as: flawed and able, divine and troubled, obedient and independent thinkers. He saw their lives as worthy of contemplation and dialogue. In the New Testament we have the most female voices in our religious texts and we see that their lives are complicated and varied. No two women are alike and no two women have the exact same abilities or destiny.
As to your first question, we have started this group because we want to be treated at church the way that we think Christ would treat us. I think He would want to hear our voices just as much as the brethren. I think He would teach us that we are valuable in and of ourselves, not only as wives or mothers. I don’t think He would assume that we are all the same. I think He would encourage us to discover our spiritual gifts and use them. Even if he couldn’t explain why, I think He would at least acknowledge that there is a gender bias in church leadership, religious texts, our knowledge of the Godhead, and decision making power. I think that after He acknowledged this He would tell us that this didn’t mean that our Heavenly Father prefers His sons. I think He would take pity on women in disciplinary courts and send the 15 men away or at least provide a jury full of female peers. I think He would let us women have the last say in church matters once in awhile. I think He would tell us that our answers to prayer are just as good as a man’s. I think He would agree that man and woman are great together because they have two heads. I think He would tell us about our former female religious leaders left out of the scriptures, recognize current female spiritual examples, and teach us about our Heavenly Mother and our future eternal destiny.
As to your second question, Yes, I do feel like I take a back seat to men in this religion, but I choose to continue to participate because a) I believe it is true, just flawed because of the historical and cultural context in which it exists, b) there is so much good, and c) because I have felt inspired to stay and implore for more equality because I CAN make a difference.
I could be wrong about this entire answer, but this is what I wish.
Sincerely,
Ask a Feminist
Interesting answer and website. If members don’t already know that God Loves Men and Women equally and that he answers prayers on an individual basis not based on gender you are appealing to a small LDS minority indeed. Perhaps 30-40 years ago these issues were in doubt in the older generation and less spiritually mature members. If you think that the church is not run by the women, then you don’t understand their spiritual power and influence. Very limited appeal to the LDS women in general.
Thank you, but you do not speak for LDS women in general. Furthermore it is because we understand the spiritual power and influence of women that we work for equality in the church.
Maybe you could outline what WAVE thinks equality in the church actually means and how you think you are going to achieve what you consider equality and how it isn’t happening now and what the perceived benefit is for the whole church……
My husband and I have been concerned for many years about the lack of funding and opportunities for growth and development in the YW program vs YM/scouts. Furthermore, we are staunchly against donating to the BSA regardless of pressure from bishoprics. If pressed for our reasons, we say “we will donate to the ward troop (not BSA) when the YW have fund drives for their programs.”
For example, I have been in stakes where YW attend camps that are deficient in both quality of the physical camp (i.e. no doors on outdoor privey toilets, no place to swim and is generally a poor place to camp) and personnel (i.e. not having promised trained medical on staff) while YM go to excellent horseback riding camps in Colorado with swimming pools and trained staff. This kind of thing has gone on for years.
The YW medallion does not rank with the Eagle and YW are in the majority of wards trained to want marriage and babies while education and career are not considered an option. The over emphasis on marriage has not been healthy.
We put our money where our priorities are. Talk is meaningless. Either we put more into YW or we essentially tell them that they are second class citizens. (oh, i forgot, we are)
Doesn’t He(Christ) already encourage us to discover our spiritual gifts? I’ve talked to plenty of women whose p-blessings mention specific spiritual gifts that they have been endowed with. And who led you to believe that your prayers aren’t as valuable as a man’s? The Church certainly doesn’t teach that and I’ve never felt that. Also, if I really believe that the Church is led by a prophet, I have to believe that things like the disciplinary courts are set up exactly how the Lord Himself would set them up.
Reading your comments leads me to believe that you think the brethren aren’t transmitting the will of God as well as they should be. Hopefully I’m wrong.
I am a convert to the church and I never felt like women take a back seat to men. No matter where you go in life you will meet people who treat women for less then what they are. These men are in all walks of life including the church. When you experience gender inequality, that is not a reflection on the church or it’s teachings.
You say you want to be treated as Christ was treated, That is fundamentally flawed. Christ is perfect, man is not!!
NO matter where you go, you will not be treated as Christ treated people.
It was the church leaders who inspired me to get an education. The church does value women in and of themselves. I did not get married until I was in my 30’s despite being a convert from the age of 17 and serving a mission.
I wanted to explore the world, live my life and get an education before I got married. So i did! I never felt any less of a woman because I was not a mother or a wife. I can be anything I want to be, the only restraints we have are the ones we put on ourselves.
I was really delighted when I saw the new LDS website. 3/4 of those women had careers. The church encourages moms to stay at home, not forces them, You choose what you want in life and who you want to be.
To be very honest The wave disappointed me.. You are obviously very intelligent, bright ambitious women. There are children in the world who do not have pencils to write on or clean drinking water and your complaining about not been validated as women.
I also read that someone’s husband told her she was an American and that the inequality was a result of the culture. Ironically the very same culture that contributed to Inequality has also contributed to groups like wave. People who are never satisfied with what they have and always feel entitled to more whether LDS or not. There are far more pressing problems in our world and in our communities which deserve our time and effort .I wish you ladies saw the bigger picture, had a little more perspective and stopped being so precious!
Michelle wrote:
“To be very honest The wave disappointed me.. You are obviously very intelligent, bright ambitious women. There are children in the world who do not have pencils to write on or clean drinking water and your complaining about not been validated as women.”
Please know that global issues matter deeply to the organizers of WAVE as well. We ate coordinating our efforts in the Women’s Service Mission. If you are involved in efforts to alleviate poverty and provide education opportunities in impoverished nations, please submit to service@ldswave.org. The organizers of WAVE are attempting in the ways that we have been led to further the missions of the church, namely to assist in perfecting the saints and caring for the poor and the needy. We feel that our efforts with WAVE is one way that we can keep our baptismal covenants which state, “comfort those who stand in need of comfort and mourn with those who mourn.” There are women in the church mourning and who are in need of comfort over the issue of equality in the church. It is not right to say that because that there are more grave problems in the world, we ought to dismiss the struggles of those around us.